When Motivation is Fleeting -- Be Consistent

Consistency is like the "fluffer" on a porn set and motivation is the star who gets all of the credit.

For the record, I hate the word motivation 5 out of the 7 days of the week.  

"What keeps you motivated?"
"I'm inspired to be an athlete but I don't have motivation like you do."

Fuck motivation; be consistent.  And when you cannot be consistent, reflect.  In the running community and beyond, people toss around motivation like its something you can buy at the corner store from Papi.  Go ahead-- pick up that can of fleeting motivation next to the Skittles and Starbursts but tell me how that scam works.  If I could buy it on the shelf tomorrow, I'd return that can of shit back and ask for a refund.  Just like anything you want in life, you have to earn it and the road to success is not a straight line.
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Consistency Is Failure's Older Sister

I've been radio silence here on the blog compared to years ago when I was posting like a mad woman; several factors changed in my life.  Since August 2016, I became a sponsored athlete and I'm redefining what that means to me.  If you want to talk about consistency, I used to race home after a half marathon or full event, shower, barely eat and put up a race report. Let someone piss me off at the gym too hard and I'd flex my keyboard on this open diary like I was auditioning for American Ninja Warrior.  After blurbing on here about being heckled at the NYC Marathon in 2017, what I thought would be a few days evolved into a crazy conversation and accumulating quite an audience on my blog, social media and personal life.  My hobby shifted into a promising career and that's how I started failing my literary running community.

I actually don't remember exactly how it started but I can tell you the excuses that I gave myself on why I don't contribute as much:

• Assholes:  I was growing weary from the exorbitant loads of hate mail.  Thankfully its slowed down quite a bit but getting 7 - 10 variations about how you're a fat fill in the blank bitch grows old.  It didn't bother my self esteem; I was just tired of fighting and wasn't happy with simply smiling through the bullshit.  Save your "ignore the haters" commentary because that's easier said than done.
• Self Censorship & Preservation:  It's easy to type up a blurb or three in a week but hard when your hobby turns into a career.  As a creative, my mind is always working at the strangest hours of the day.  I have notepads and sticky notes randomly laying around the house with a frenzy of thoughts that wouldn't leave until I released them into the air.  What I was able to say without representing several companies isn't the same when you have to worry about your comments being plastered in the next issue of any random magazine.  We live in the era where you cannot make a mistake without someone digging up something from 1997 where you spoke like an ignorant little shit who thought they knew everything about life.  "Who the hell is going to tell me that cotton is terrible for my long run?" stated year one Latoya.  My new lifestyle stumped my creativity and freedom. 
• Integrity & Remaining True to Self:  Sometimes I think my morals closes as many doors as it opens up opportunities.  I am not a person who simply smiles at shit sandwiches.  A growing audience that I never asked for - nothing personal guys - came with a list of demands.  "Could you curse less on your blog?"  And I love this one:  "Can't you call your platform "Running Fit Chef?"  The answers are no and hell no -- and depending on my attitude is how I'll answer these questions.  I will not force you to conform to my beliefs and you cannot 'request' for me to consider something that's deliberate and have a deeper meaning for me.  And yeah, that includes my loving relationship with profanity.  As a self proclaimed "Land Before Time" long winded writer, people tend to think I'm explaining or rationalizing a statement.  And when I'm short and very direct, its interpreted as the CAPS LOCK button.  When you have a very East Coast fuggetaboutit NYC attitude, others who aren't used to that level of direct communication with no chaser interpret it harshly.  Next thing I know, I'm in "trouble." There's a very thin line between being frank and a piece of shit.  The only parties that's able to determine whether you crossed the line are the two people involved.  Onlookers are just spectators who are waiting for the next wig to fly to the corner of the Jerry Springer show.  Integrity wise:  I want to keep my clients, audience and the people who I represent happy and not caught up in my inside thoughts.  I remained true to myself by not overanalyzing but it took a bit.  By this point, I already stopped writing consistently and didn't know how to get back into the groove.

Perhaps you're wondering how this is related to consistency.  In each area, I overthought how to appease everyone else except myself and I failed.  Whilst I will never tell you to abandon consideration, my motivation to share my athletic and traveling adventures drifted into an abyss of silence.  I LOVE writing and sharing my adventures as much as I enjoy living in the moment.  What I hate is the unclear fine print that came with the changes in my passion.  I allowed my lack of knowledge, fear of new opportunities and imaginary consequences ruin my stride.  Essentially, I failed myself before I ever started.

When you are training for an event, whether it's a 5K to a 100 miler, you have a few options to explore when you fall.  The most common ones after assessing the damage are to surrender to the accident or dust off and continue.  Depending on the severity, you are forced to make a choice.  The part that tends to get pushed to the wayside that a failure happened prior to your decision -- you busted your ass.  But if you have your older sibling consistency on your side, it'll smack you silly and teach your failing ass a lesson; it's up to you to actually absorb in the course details.
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"Natural Talent" Versus Productivity

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A post shared by Latoya Shauntay Snell (@iamlshauntay) on Jul 21, 2019 at 5:15pm PDT

For six years, fitness has been an intricate part of my life.  Sometimes I give off the illusion that my entire life is consumed by it and I manage to squeeze in a family around it.  There's been times where I read a comment on post where people state that I am a 'natural athlete.'  I don't lack self esteem but I'm not inclined to believe that statement at this moment in my life but I can agree that I have freakishly strong moments.  But natural talent means nothing without effort. Without constant upkeep, it's hard to maintain muscle gains, whatever slow AF speed that I have for my events and the ability to improve.  

​It is easy to get overwhelmed by visually faster and stronger athletes.  I would be lying if I said I never encountered a moment of runner's envy.  Some days I want to be 15 minutes faster or not look like death after a run.  I want to wholeheartedly give a positive answer after being delirious frolicking for 20 miles.  What I can say with confidence is that I don't envy the human or their work but more or less irritated by my performance, lacking patience for improvement or inability to make something click.  

The source of fleeting motivation can come from anything:

• Falling short on a personal goal especially after a winning streak
• A ridiculously inflated ego that blocks your ability to prepare for the next adventure
• Lack of interest in what was once entertaining
• Redundancy and failure to switch/spice things up
• Learning styles and methods that do not align with your way of thinking
• Paying too much attention to everyone else but yourself
• Failure to unfuck your inner commentary and possibly allowing others to heavily influence your thought process
• Lack of available resources or the privilege of space and time
• Trading in your pursuit of pleasure for perfection
• Overthinking or lack of balance of moving intuitively and learned practices
• Focus and anxiety issues
• Not owning up to your own shortcomings and shifting the blame

​Whatever your "shortcoming" may be, speak positively about your growth -- because that's what it is.  Most times you're not lacking motivation but longing for instant gratification.  I don't have a magic pill to offer but on my rough days, I give myself a pass to shut my brain off from anything fitness related.  I take a walk on the wild side and break a few rules that I'd follow on a regular basis.  In my case, I know I'm a workaholic.  

Stop being a Debbie Downer about your baggage.  Acknowledge it and then evaluate your issues to find a solution.  You have an ache in your knees that's forcing you to reduce your 12 minute pace to a 15 -- cool; go to a doctor and make the first step.

Are you bored out of your mind with running?  Ask yourself if your heart is still in it and if it is, take a few days off.  Do something else.  Ride a bike, juggle some eggs at a supermarket after you paid the bill or go to a spa because you ran your mind ragged and come back from your vacation.  Whatever you do:  Bring your ass back if you want to accomplish something.  

Don't run from hard or mundane shit.  We live in an instant gratification error and it's easy to look at others thinking that everything is so much easier.  Put in the work your way; use others as a guide or a muse.

And if you're really obsessive about this word:  Recruit or cheer on a friend.  Allowing others to help you stay accountable work for some people.  It's not always a win for me because it sometimes crosses into a territory of nagging.  When all else fails, dig into your own belongings to separate your garbage from your keep pile.  Practice this from physically writing out lists or seeking a professional to get back on the right path.  If you think that your favorite person never encountered a bad day, week or year, you haven't been watching hard enough.