I am Managing My Panic Attacks & Grieving Through Fitness

Some of your fitspos may not be as inspiring if they elected to be fully transparent about their reasons for movement during a pandemic.

Every morning for 34 days, I woke up and made up my bed.  The sheets aren't always perfectly tucked into the corners and the pillows are unkempt.  Despite the imperfections, my bed is always made before I brush my teeth, use the bathroom or turn off the lamp in my son's bedroom.  COVID-19 stripped practically every norm that's in my routine and I've been trying to make peace with the obtrusive disruption placed in all of our lives.  

Living in the heart of New York City doesn't make it easy for me to be an adventurer at this moment.  I've followed indoor training plans from my coach and at times, deviate to create my own workouts.  Many watched and gave me endless kudos.  "Great work."  "Powerhouse." "Outstanding."  "Incredible work ethic."  I've heard every compliment extended under the sun and at times, they're accompanied with questions or those seeking guidance on how I power through.  I kindly remind people to do what they can and not to compare their motion to their counterparts, including me.  It's hard to dissect my logic but your admiration might be of someone openly grieving and on auto pilot-- actually I am one of those people.  ​

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