What Do You Think About While Running?

In a few hours, I have to do a twenty mile run that I pushed off.  I am looking forward to it and seeking excuses not to do it all at the same time.  "But don't you love running," you may ask.  My answer is certainly yes and follow up commentary contradicting myself in the same breath. 

Yes, I absolutely love this sport (and yes, I said SPORT).  Running is how I let all of my crazy roam free into the pavement.  At the same time, my mind wanders off into a far away land of fuckville at some point, regardless if it's 3 miles or 26 miles.  At some point, it happens.  Thankfully, I have learned how to actively meditate while running.  For those who are unaware of my version of active meditation, I tend to focus completely on my breathing or a chant in my head.  Hopefully, it's not too terrible to admit that my first year of running, I actively meditated to the phrase "Don't Drop That Thun, Thun, Thun."  Well, it's already out there so now you know.  Something about the rhythm kept my anxiety on low and when I thought about the entire song, it made me chuckle.  Again, don't judge me or go ahead and side eye lightly.  I tend to hate modern day rap music.

Running has been like therapy for me in a sense.  Frankly, I am a mother, freelance entrepreneur and family woman who is constantly thinking about my finances, what meal I will make (because food is life) and the clusterfuck of events that I signed myself up for out of pure insanity.  Countless times, I have friends and family members, mostly not part of the running community who asked me what do I think about while running.  
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TOP 30 RANDOM THOUGHTS

1. It's only a 20 mile run.  If I start at 4am, I'll make it back before my son has to get dropped off to school.
2. WTF am I thinking trying to pull off a 20 mile run at 4am on a Friday?  Saturday is more like it.  
3. I wonder how many other runners are going to be outside at this hour.  I better run with my knife and mace because this is NYC.
4. I really don't know why I'm out here.
5. Aaargh!  ::expletory word here, here and here::  I run faster without music but dammit, I'm going to be bored to tears.
6. One foot in front of the other.  It's not that hard.
7. How long have I been running for?  Only 8 minutes?  WTF!
8. One mile down, 19 to go.  It's not that bad.  Focus on the road.
9. Oh yeah.  I know I look bad ass and the breeze is all that I needed this morning.
10. The sun is starting to come up a bit.  Holy crap.  How long have I been running?  Ten miles?  Yaassss!
11. Think about it this way, I completed several 5Ks right now.  That's a reward in itself.
12. Wait, why am I doing this in the first place?
13. Please don't let me fart.  Please no.  What if it's doo doo butter?  I'm too far out and too old to shit myself.  Hold on a little tighter.
14. I really need to pay off the light and gas bill when I get back home.  OMG, I forgot to thaw out the chicken for tonight.
15. WHYYYYY are you walking so slow and taking up the entire sidewalk?  MOOOOOOVVEEE!
16. I'm going to kick ass during the marathon.
17. ::cries inside:: I'm going to do terrible during the marathon.  I'm too slow.
18. Oooh, sunrise.  Selfie time!  I don't care if people think I am vain.
19. Taco Taco.  Burger Burger.
20. But her ass looks so fluffy and pretty.  His looks better.  Run faster.
21. Don't let them beat me.  RUN FASTER!
22. I should reevaluate my life and invest into stocks and bonds.
23. What am I doing with my life?  
24. Why is my underarm and thighs chafing at the same time?  Two more miles until I make love to ice and Vasoline.
25. If this car hit me, I will come back from the grave and kill you.
26. I hope my family isn't burning the house right now.  Wait, what if they get attacked by ninjas?  What's wrong with my brain?!
27. I carry more tiny baggies than a crack dealer.  This could look really bad if one falls out from my running pack.
28. Less than a mile to go.  This is life right now.
29. My Fitbit, Strava and Nike + App better not crash or I will be pissed off.
30. It's over.  That didn't bother me one bit.