Running Fat Chef
  • Welcome
  • Home
  • Podcasts
    • RFC Podcast >
      • Season One
    • The Long Run Podcast
  • Learn About Me
    • About Me
    • Press
    • Videos
    • Partnerships
  • RFC Blogs
    • Endurance Blog
    • Journey To Tri
    • Fat Girl Guide to the Spartan Ultra Beast
    • Recipes >
      • Nom Nom Gallery
  • Shop
    • Shop RFC >
      • Clothing >
        • Running Fat Chef Signature Cropped Hoodie
        • I Am Powerful Sweatshirt
        • RFC I Am Powerful Short Sleeve Tee
        • University of Promoting Obesity Cropped Top Hoodie
        • Running Fat Chef Signature Hoodie
        • University of Promoting Obesity Hooded Sweatshirt
        • Un Fck Yr Self Cropped Tee
        • Unisex Un Fck Yr Self Short Sleeve Tee
        • Crop Tops and Back Fat Crop Tie Tee
        • Cut Food Not People Crop Top Tie Tee
        • Cut Food Not People Unisex Tee
        • University of Promoting Obesity Cropped Top Hoodie
        • Running Fat Chef Unisex Crew Neck Descriptors Sweatshirt
      • Accessories >
        • Unf*ck Yourself Tote
        • Running Fat Chef Signature Tote
        • RFC I Am Powerful Mug
        • Running Fat Chef Signature Mug
        • Running Fat Chef Salty Apron
        • Running Fat Chef Postcard + Sticker Pack
  • Calendar
  • Contact
  • Subscribe

Sit Down--Be Humble

1/27/2018

0 Comments

 
Picture
Remain humble--even when the world is showering you with opportunities to be overbearing. Life is an arrogant teacher awaiting to tame her students with pop quizzes.  This random but not so random thought surfaced as I talked with one of my close long distance friends about the changes occurring in my life.  

In my head, I'm normal as fuck--I wake up, shower, juggle a ridiculous schedule and try to balance out my social life with a chaotic but sedentary freelance assignments.  To others, I'm supernatural and much more entertaining than what my brain tells me.  Realistically, I haven't been this inactive in five years and it's starting to piss me the fuck off.
Honestly, I haven't been as consistent with gym sessions and pavement stomping since the NYRR 60K.  Frequently, I run across these moments of irritation from feeling stagnant after the winter marathons are over.  Post-marathon blues is a bitch who contacts all of your exes and tells them vicious things like "did you have a mysterious bump near your penis while dating XX" or flattens your tires while you are hanging out with friends. I fell off the wagon after taking close friends and family members' suggestions of recovering and soon after, finding myself catching every disgusting bug under the sun.

What's a girl to do but throw away dollars that she doesn't have to races that she's already done before, right? Frankly, I'm po' as fuck and my race calendar is filling up.  I know the standards that'll hit the list:  I'll be signing up for the Brooklyn Half on January 31st and of course, I'm registered for the Chicago and NYC Marathons this year.  On the other hand, I've been on this crazy ass mantra since 2013 to dance with the devil called fear.  Most of my event calendar doesn't scare me--and that's a problem. 

A few weeks ago, I talked with a decent amount of enablers to help me invigorate my brain for some scary adventures.  Ultra running is still fairly new and the two times that I managed to take it on makes me question my neurosis.  To many, I should have been institutionalized years ago and to others, I'm divine.  Yeah, the latter mostly comes with my ability to tackle these things while fat and when people see the training regimen, my eccentric ways thrive from reassurance from the pubic that I lost my goddamn mind.  I'm in a constant battle with being scared that taking on something new will make me appear like an arrogant, attention seeking woman who want to shatter stereotypes for a newspaper clipping and wanting to do these things because I secretly enjoy inspiring people through my journey.  I know my intentions -I really take on these races selfishly for my own amusement- but I am flawed when it comes to my internal struggles.  I'm still scared of my own success; be patient with me as I'm a work in progress.

PET PEEVE:  Egotistical personalities drive me insane and makes me question what their reaction to shortcomings.

​These waves of surfacing on different media outlets since 2014 made me nervous to become what I fear--it's not who I aspire to be nor a fear that makes me want to touch it.  Instead, I want my success to come from tacking obstacles that'll keep me humble in the areas that I need to be bitch smacked in once in a while.  For instance, I have done so many 10K and half marathons that I sometimes tell myself that I can complete it without worries of catching a DNF.  And unless I'm sick, I find this theory to be true thanks to muscle memory.  THIS IS NOT A GOOD THING.  

So here's my solution:  2018, I will scare the living shit out of myself with races that I don't think my body nor mind can handle.  

Calm yo' tits:  I'm not that much of a masochist that I want to see myself squirm or fail.  I want to grow just a bit more and prevent boredom.  I don't really follow horoscope shit but I'm a Gemini.  If the stereotypes are right, we get bored fairly quickly and I thrive from that fear, even if we fail at it.  The adrenaline junkie in me is itching to do more trail races, see my triathlon training through, try a few more obstacle course races and add more ultras to the list.  

If anything scares me more than that agenda, it's the finances that will follow.  My beloved friend did the Javelina Jundred 100K and her vivid description of doing this makes me scream hell to the no; I think I'll sign up for that when I get my money right--goddamn race is roughly 230.00.  I am still looking into half and full races outside of the United States because I need to be taken out of my comfort zone.  I don't know what drives you but I think scary shit is just the thing to do it.  Trail races are not for everyone, let alone doing an ultra on the goddamn mountains or dirt road.  I'm looking forward to seeing my success, even if it means that I'll fail attempting.  In the meantime, I have to treat this bronchitis infection so I can jump back to training.  I let my fellow fat girl running talk me into the North Face Endurance Challenge 50K for the end of April.  In turn, I'm going to attempt a minor run with no mileage or time goal just to see if my lungs are willing to entertain my foolishness.  Don't give me that look--I'll be kind to my body; I promise.
0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    Latoya Shauntay Snell

    For my pretentious ass bio, check out the about me page but for anyone interested in who I really am, make me a good meal at your house and I'll tell you a dope ass story.

    If you want to donate to my one woman operation, please feel free to donate below.  All funds will help me keep the blog running smoothly.
    Donate to RFC


    ​Archives

    July 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    May 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016

    Categories

    All
    Beyond The Athlete
    Body Positivity
    Changing The Narrative
    Chemical Dependency
    COVID 19
    COVID-19
    Diversity In Sports
    DNF
    Eating Disorders
    Eating Disorders In The Fitness Industry
    Emotional Health
    Endometriosis
    Endurance
    Endurance Running
    Epic Stories
    Fat Shaming
    Fears
    Half Marathon Training
    How To Guide
    International Women's Day
    Intersectionality In Sports
    Marathon
    Marathon Training
    Mental Grit
    NEDA
    NEDAWEEK
    Online Bullying
    Online Harassment
    Partner Running
    Quarantine Fitness
    Race Cancellations
    Race Day Adventures
    Race Politics In Sports
    Running Advice
    Running Scared
    Running With Chronic Pain
    Self Care
    Shaming In Fitness
    Sports And Black History Month
    TMI
    Training
    Ultra Marathon
    Ultra Marathon Training
    Vaginal Health
    Why I Run
    Women In Sports

    RSS Feed

2016 - 2020 rUNNING FAT CHEF

  • Welcome
  • Home
  • Podcasts
    • RFC Podcast >
      • Season One
    • The Long Run Podcast
  • Learn About Me
    • About Me
    • Press
    • Videos
    • Partnerships
  • RFC Blogs
    • Endurance Blog
    • Journey To Tri
    • Fat Girl Guide to the Spartan Ultra Beast
    • Recipes >
      • Nom Nom Gallery
  • Shop
    • Shop RFC >
      • Clothing >
        • Running Fat Chef Signature Cropped Hoodie
        • I Am Powerful Sweatshirt
        • RFC I Am Powerful Short Sleeve Tee
        • University of Promoting Obesity Cropped Top Hoodie
        • Running Fat Chef Signature Hoodie
        • University of Promoting Obesity Hooded Sweatshirt
        • Un Fck Yr Self Cropped Tee
        • Unisex Un Fck Yr Self Short Sleeve Tee
        • Crop Tops and Back Fat Crop Tie Tee
        • Cut Food Not People Crop Top Tie Tee
        • Cut Food Not People Unisex Tee
        • University of Promoting Obesity Cropped Top Hoodie
        • Running Fat Chef Unisex Crew Neck Descriptors Sweatshirt
      • Accessories >
        • Unf*ck Yourself Tote
        • Running Fat Chef Signature Tote
        • RFC I Am Powerful Mug
        • Running Fat Chef Signature Mug
        • Running Fat Chef Salty Apron
        • Running Fat Chef Postcard + Sticker Pack
  • Calendar
  • Contact
  • Subscribe