Living Life While Marathon Training

​It's a bit depressing to admit that I had to announce on my personal Facebook page to friends and family that I am apologizing in advance for not being available.  Some people might read that statement and think that I'm being a bit melodramatic; others relate exceptionally heavy to this sentiment.  

I absolutely love and hate doing my marathon training.  Today is a day that I'm dreading going outside to do my twenty mile run.  I always do when it is so close to marathon day.  The Chicago Marathon is a few days over a month away and peak week is approaching swiftly, which means my availability to the public is exceptionally minimal to zilch.  Some of my friends and family members verbalize that they respect my lack of attendance, acknowledging that training is crucial during this period.  Unfortunately, the actions after a few weeks show me something completely different.

Last year, I lost a handful of "friends" who felt as if I was blowing them off for not being around for them during their special events.  Regardless of how thick my skin is, it's hard to be told by loved ones that you are a shit friend and family member.  It doesn't help that I was already terrible at returning phone calls and I'm notorious for responding to a text message eight hours later if it's not in regards to business.  The dreadful reality is that being in marathon training can make even the biggest people person like me seem like a loner.

Let me not sound like a Debbie Downer on this subject.  I actually LOVE my solitude.  As a mother, wife, family member and friend who tends to put everyone else's needs and concerns ahead of her own at times, it is refreshing to have 1 - 3 hours of STFU time.  Sounds selfish?  Well, I will not apologize for it.  Without marathon training, most times that I am "alone", I am frequently contacted through messenger, by phone, cleaning something, wiping away tears from my nine year old's face or listening to a host of issues because I have been labeled as the "active listening" type.  If I'm in front of you, know that we will talk forever and if I am really engulfed into a topic online, I type paragraphs of eternity vocalizing my opinion.  To engulf myself into something that I truly love for a higher goal means the world to me.  

Times like these make me exceptionally thankful for being a part of several running communities.  If there's ever a moment that I want to link up with a group, I'll go to my Black Girls Run sisters for more than just a group run, but to relate.  There are other times that I enjoy running with Runner's United NYC, which is a fairly new group full of badassery who links up with several groups in the area.  Through running, I learned that I actually learned that I need that active silence and aside from yoga, running provides that for me.  

I grew up being the kid that was very awkward, strange but sometimes intriguing.  We could start talking about the constellation and end a conversation about life, lack of interest in celebrities and your nose hairs.  As an adult, people tend to gravitate towards my eccentricity even more and it can be a bit overwhelming at moments.  Being an explicit open book for over 3 years with the public has its plus and minuses.  Without knowing it, I became an inspiration to many and a nuisance to others.  All they heard about at one point was my running commitments, cycling adventures and something that the average joe would define as nothing short of neurotic.  Simply put, you become the annoying running friend who has nothing else to talk about but your running obligations.  Next thing you know, you are the unspoken pink elephant in the room that looks self absorbed.  And guess what:  You question if you are.  I learned not to ask questions that I might not want the answer to at emotionally high times like these.  Next thing I know, I'll be on a six hour verbal tangent about my passion and their lack of sensitivity.  It's not worth it.

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FINDING YOUR BALANCE

In efforts to not lose any folks of value to me, I made the decision to not be a fly by night fill in the blank here.  When I say that I'm going to show up, I'm going to show up.  Runners reading my blog might state that this is easier said than done.  Yes and no, my dear friends.  Here's what I suggest:
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1. Calendars are your friends, particularly ones that live on your phone.  If you can set an alarm for your 4am run and hit the snooze button three times before you walk out the door, do it for your friends and family as well.  Let that alarm nag you to all hell and acknowledge that you care about them too.
2. Be realistic in your schedule.  If you are going for a 10 mile run and on average, it takes you 2 hours to complete it, allot yourself 3 hours to finish and an extra hour to recover.  Then go about your day and fuggetaboutit.  Give yourself procrastination time to die in peace in your tub for a 30 minutes, eat something (helps to prep it in advance) and a little bit of chill time.  If you finish ahead of the 3 hours, even better!
3. Fight the urge to run more than required.  Oh, this is such a hard one for me.  There are days that I get this burst of energy that I want to do extra.  But guess what?  I can allocate that time to something else.  It takes a few minutes to see how someone's doing.  20 minutes to clean that one spot in my bedroom with all of the clean laundry that I neglected to fold.  Maybe even using this time to schedule something fun OUTSIDE of fitness.
4. Take initiative.  Schedule a day with the ones that you love.  A few hours might be a lot to you but imagine what it is to someone else who misses your everything.  You might not even realize how much you need it.  Marathon training can burn us out.  I know I'm not the only one who goes through a meltdown a few weeks before race day.
5. If they can't beat you, tell them to join.  You never know.  You might have someone who admires what you do so much, they might be crazy enough to indulge your adrenaline rush.
6. Remember that life will go on after race day.  When the day comes, race day will be here.  You will be nervous, excited and all of it will be worth the sacrifice.  Your friends and family might root you on.  Strangers that don't know you will shout out encouraging words.  If you signed up for a race with a medal, you get to show it off.  But if you don't have anyone to share that joy with, even the biggest introvert might feel salty being alone.  Your fill in the blanks love YOU.  Some of these people truly want to support you and bask in your accomplishments but if they forgot you exist, it may not happen.  Find a way to make the effort.  A little goes a long way.

By now, if you are an over-sharer like me, people know running means the world to you.  Just remember that these people mean the world to you too.  Running is certainly a priority to me.  My family and friends are higher on the food chain quite frankly.  Finding that happy balance may take some time but it will come with consistency and practice.  You may lose a few stragglers but the ones that you really want to hold onto will hopefully understand.  All you can do is put your best foot forward to make a conscious, realistic effort on your part.