I Will Not Catch Hypothermia Running This Winter

Marathon season for me is over.  Shamefully, I am going through junkie withdrawals.  I find myself drooling over the Spartan race website and stalking the New York Road Runner pages for the next race that I am considering signing up for in 2017.  If you happen to socialize with me regularly, you may be aware that I am not much of a New Years Resolution fan but I absolutely adore yearly bucket lists.  I told myself that next year is the year of the ultra marathon.  

Yes, please chuckle hard.  When I did my first and only ultra marathon in 2015, two weeks after the New York City Marathon, I participated in the NYRR 60K, which is equivalent to 37.2 miles.  I was fine until mile 29, in which I had to use the bathroom and came out a changed woman.  It was like going to the shitter made me purge out all of my delusions of considering ultra marathons easy.  The sodium evicted itself out of my body like the repo man was tired of my bullshit.  Parts of my body started to lose sensation and the cold affected me as I went from 12 - 13 minutes miles to a complete "Fuck it, I'm walking" pace.  I managed to talk to the Devil and God in my head for 9 hours, 47 minutes and 22 seconds.  Some pain is hard to forget but like child birth, I developed amnesia and here I am, talking my incredibly zany self into pursuing several ultra and standard marathons this year.

For my non running community, a marathon is 26.2 miles or 42.2K.  An ultra marathon is anything above this distance.  It's such a glorious hell that I am thankful for.  With this thought process in mind, I told myself to continue running, even if the distance is relatively short.  Consistency is key in these types of sports.  

For December, I promised myself that I would be running at least 4 times a week, 2 miles minimum a day.  Thankfully, I have fulfilled my quota thus far, even on the most craptacular of days.  Unfortunately, the weather has been going through PMS with these warm and cold flashes.  I cannot help but chuckle at the weird stares and concerned feedback that I get while running through Brooklyn.  Most times, people aren't brave enough to tell me that I must be out of my mind to be running in leggings and a pullover.  Typically, I just glance and laugh at the judgmental stares and I like to lock eyes with them with an awkward smile to assure their confused hearts that I'm actually okay.  Seldom times, I will get a few people who will tell me to go back home and find a coat.  Most of these occurrences happen from the salt and peppered hair crowd.
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I'm A Little Crazy.  Not Stupid.

Alas, I find myself writing this blog today defending my legs, protecting my neck and assuring people that I might just be warmer than them after a mile of jogging.  Some of you may wonder how that's so but I'm so glad that you asked.  If you didn't, too bad.  I have this debate all in my head and I have to share it with you.  Read the bullet points:

1. Training in colder weather is actually ideal.  In the warmer months, it's easier for a person to pass out from a heat stroke.  To kill the dramatic effects, think about this:  There's no walking air conditioner that will cool you down while running aside from the one that regulates your body to sweat versus having the option to layer up clothing onto your body.
2. Running in a goddamn bubble coat is just weird.  I don't know where you live but if I was caught running in a bubble coat in my neighborhood, most of the folks would start chasing me to find out who's getting shot.  To avoid this type of delusion and chaotic fuckery, just go for a damn run in decent running attire unless you truly don't give a shit.
3. Some people actually run FASTER in the winter.  But how Sway?  Easy.  It may take a bit longer for those limbs to warm up but guess who's not burning up so quickly because of heat.  Refer to point number 1.
4. Did you know that chubby warrior runners like myself have less risk of hypothermia?  Listen, let me not act like I knew that one but I found this out through a very interesting conversation with a buddy.  I checked it out and never forgot it.  Check out this linked article to Runner's Connect.  Ain't that some crazy ish?  
5. There's health benefits in this.... Did you know that you can actually burn more calories?  How about the idea of increasing your Vitamin D soaking in the sun rays?  It may give you more of an incentive to drink more water, as lots of people tend to fall off on it during the winter.  Your heart actually starts to work more efficiently because it's harder for blood to flow in the winter.  In addition, your body starts to build up immunities and you adapt to cold weather.  
6. It's not the goddamn treadmill.  Okay, okay.  That's my own personal bias because I am not much of a treadmill girl but it's so NOT the treadmill.  I can run away from people and make them reappear again if I slow down.  The scenery changes.  If it's too cold, I can run faster to take my ass home.

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How To Layer Up for the Winterapocalypse

Winter isn't just coming...it's here and she's a rude bitch.  Unfortunately, I am a well seasoned asshole myself.  In turn, protect yourself while doing your winter running.  Here's my suggestions:

1. Exercise good judgment and precaution.  Some folks are able to run through - 15 degrees (not an exaggerated number) because they have grown accustomed to it over time.  My personal limit is 5 degrees if it has a serious wind factor but 0 if the wind isn't whipping my ass.
2. Dress for Success.  Look into Under Armor or Uniqlo for HeatTech wear.  Thousands of companies have thermal wear for the winter.  This includes cyclists on the road too.  Check out Amazon for some killer deals.
3. Layers are your friend.  When it's 40 degrees, my 5'3 and a 1/2, 200+ pound frame is very happy in leggings, non cotton socks, a good pair of sneakers, a short sleeve tech tee and a pullover.   I have been sporting one from Old Navy and an Under Armor one these days.    When it's around 20 degrees, I put on an extra layer like a long sleeve thermal shirt with fingerless gloves (I am glued to my playlist and like to play DJ on my music apps) with a scarf.  Anything colder than this, I will actually throw on my ski jacket, which is well lined.  I picked up one from the Avenue, believe it or not.  Some folks will need more or less but I promise you, I am typically sweating like a mad woman after mile 2 and seeking water by mile 3.  
4. Keep in mind that you will warm up as you are constantly moving.  The moment that you stop moving is when your body temperature will drop.
5. Be aware of the road.  In the dark, it helps to have a flashing runner lamp or light on your body.  Wearing reflective wear is awesome and please be aware of where you are going.  Screw gender:  People are crazy across the board and I actually give a damn about you, my fellow reading stranger.  Please pay attention to your surroundings.  Females and males can easily be attacked.  If needed, take the damn headphones off and sing like a crazy person with your internal mental soundtrack.

So boom.  No hypothermia for me this year if I can help it.  I will not be running in shorts at 2 degrees but if you see one of us doing it, shake your head in disagreement lightly and give him or her a wave.  We're only half way nuts.  That person might be a polar bear or has trained in this type of weather for so long, his or her nipples are slowly cooking at 275 degrees.

Happy Trails.