Gym Partners, 2016 Woes & Welcoming in a New Year

2016 is coming to an end and my Facebook timeline is loaded with memes, jokes and emotional warfare about how shitty this year has treated them.  

Yes, this was the year that killed off celebrities like swine flu.  I lost my beloved Prince.  I actually cried for a week straight when he died.  Like disgusting hanging boogers that don't break filled with tears and snot on a public train in Long Island City, coincidentally listening to Raspberry Beret as I read the news.  This year pissed a lot of people off and allegedly Mercury is rising or some bullshit so things are falling apart.

Listen guys.  Screw the year.   You had fucked up days and this year may just have been more than usual.  Big fucking deal.  Pardon me for my lack of sympathy but seriously babes, put on your big kid undies and let's go seize the damn day.  The reality of it is that people have been dying before, during and after we hit this planet in our respective years.  There's great days and ones that's not so hot.  The bouncer Tiny has never in his life ever been small so don't try to pass him and get beat down horrifically in front of your friends on New Years Eve.  And guess what?  Better days are ahead of us.

I am actually giving myself this same pep talk for 2017 as well.  Don't think that I'm just using this moment solely to be a dick.  It is only 30 percent true; 70 percent is dedicated to preparing myself for a new year of changes.  I have a bucket list that I am creating, as I do every year, and one of the items that make me nervous is spending time with other folks than can be considered as very reliable gym partners.  

I miss my most reliable gym buddy, Rayne terribly, but schedules changed and life happened.  In turn, I've been a solo warrior perusing these Smith machines fearlessly but there's days that I miss having someone to vibe with at the gym.  I get a bit envious when I see two people doing partner workouts and in my head, I threw so much shade in their direction but rooting them on in the same sense.  And it's not like I haven't been requested frequently by random people who want me to join them.  Sometimes, the ones that I want to join me at the gym aren't available the hours that's ideal for me.  There's times where my mental wires aren't working properly and in turn, my impulse to get it out of the way at a specific moment takes over.  But then this time of the year comes around where I am slow kissed by promises of gym commitments, just to find out that they stole my time like a prostitute taking more than just the tip.  Pardon my vulgarities but Jesus, a little lube goes a long way when we planned this out for a week.  You may not know but us going to the gym is like a date and you got me standing on the corner looking like a two dollar hooker looking for a warm place to stay.  

In short, I'm nervous about going to the gym with new people.  Yes, you may be familiar to me in real life but working out with someone requires chemistry, just as you would need with a personal trainer.  Dear God, don't send me a person who isn't willing to do cardio for at least 15 minutes because I will end their existence with my sarcasm.  I can feel the side eyes and tea sips as you read this post but I don't care.  I don't mind having a gym partner who actually vibes with me.  It's like an exclusive membership where we do secret handshakes, security clearances and you get to have the secret workout if you pass five sessions.  No, it's not really that deep but sometimes it feels like that. 

Your gym partner, like a trainer, becomes like your venting buddy at times.  You want that person to be loyal and understanding.  They also need to be honest and considerate.  If my gym buddy is a bullshit artist, I will walk all over them and frankly, I don't care if that sounds harsh. 
 

​Why make this post?  Because as much as I am a grinch about New Year's Resolutions, I know a bunch of you are about to invade my second home working out and you'll abandon me like deadbeat dads evading child support checks by February.  The most common thing that I hear from my friends, family and associates on why they left is because they didn't have a great support system.  I was that person for 5 years.  Folks will tell you that you shouldn't NEED a support system but some people aren't built that way.  I became my own support system when I got tired of being disappointed by others.  I promise I'm not pulling out my violin.  It took a lot for me to open up to having a gym partner again.  Two of my mini army of best friends was how I started to trust again on many levels to outsiders, including having a gym buddy.  

I seriously don't want you to feel bitter or not see your ::cringe:: resolutions not get fulfilled.  Here's some tips:  

1. Know yourself and your personality type.  Ask yourself if you listened to yourself enough, would you piss yourself off?
2. Evaluate your prospects.  Some people are excellent friends but terrible gym partners.  This is almost like that one time you decided to date your childhood friend and it turned out that this guy likes to sniff your dirty socks while you go to the potty.
3. Once you find a candidate, respect the schedule.  Figure out what times work out best and create a contingency plan when it doesn't happen.
4. Respect that you guys will not always agree on eveything.  I hate to put him out there but I wanted to kill my gym partner, Rayne at the gym once a month.  It was typically because he was trying to figure out where my mind was or because I was horrifically late meeting up with him.  I always kept in mind that we're friends and as long as he gave me cookies, a conversation can happen.
5. Try to find ways to break up the same boring routine.  It requires a bit of research on both of you guys' parts.  Boredom sometimes leads to excuses.  
6. Have fun dammit.  This is not a hour of indentured servitude.  You are both getting a healthy escape while exercising your bodies and mind.  You might die slightly in the process a little bit but guess what, it's going to be over shortly.
7. Things happen.  Vacations, trips, business meetings, spontaneous cancellations.  Shit, maybe you want to cancel one gym day to go to lunch/dinner.  This is okay.  We are human.  If you're an android, well, refer to Google for help.  
8. Your gym partner might be a venting buddy some days.  When life gets hard, sometimes, your gym partner is your unpaid therapist.  Try to consider each other's feelings while pushing through.

I sincerely wish you all well with your prospective or current gym partners.  I am currently not seeking another gym partner because frankly, I can be neurotic and I'm trying to figure out how to link up with my gym warrior again.  However, I am not adverse to joining people once in a blue if the schedule works out well.  I will be studying for my personal trainer certifications, nutrition certs and actually training folks for 2017.  I have my own unofficial New Years Resolutions on board but we will not call it such.  But remember guys:  2016 isn't the blame for the terrible things that happen.  Life is unpredictable.  We have to roll with the punches and know that we are strong enough to survive the impact.  Every single day that you wake up is another chance to do it all over again.