"You're gonna love swimming,"they said.

"You're going to feel liberated once you're able to float," they said.

Instead, I'm sinking like a muthafucking rock and not just any rock--a peridotite.  Yeah bih:  The shit you find next to diamonds.  Don't ask me nothing else about Earth Science because that's as much useless facts that you'll get out of me.  Seriously, I don't know what else to do anymore and it's a bit frustrating. 

​Despite the quiet feeling of failure each week, I'm trying my best to be consistent.  Moreso, my male instructor Alex noted that he saw amazing progress from me last week.  This week's session was a dub because I attended a function at Leonard's Palazzo in Nassau County.  And you know what--missing that damn lesson made me feel guilty as fuck.

It's almost a month and I'm a bit devastated--my viral infection put my swimming lessons to a ridiculous halt.  Logically, I know that my health comes first but my ego says fuck this shit.  How the hell am I going to learn how to swim if I cannot even attend lessons. 

My first two lessons made me feel just a tad bit hopeful but my bronchitis is got me all around screwed up.  Let's not forget loves:  I'm training for the North Face Endurance Challenge 50K...a goddamn trail ultra marathon.  I'm 12 weeks away and my lungs are inflamed.  What in the entire FUCK!  In short, I'm frustrated. Scared. Depressed. Exceptionally worried.  What am I going to do?
​

If you entertain something long enough, you will find yourself dancing with the opportunity.  This happens to be my testament to most things over the course of five years.  Just a few weeks ago, I laid out the laundry list of bat shit adventures that I've participated in just because I wanted to face a fear.  Well, fuck me because I find myself going hard in the wet paint this time:  I want to face my fear of swimming by training for my first triathlon.  And you know what...I am creating a dedicated space to document my six month journey from being a half dead goldfish who would drown in water (SHUT UP...don't correct me) to becoming a shark in my first triathlon.